20 Mar

 So bright not just blue sky and not only white snow fallen during night. Inspite of that I had enough sleep feeling dizzy still is with me. I’d drank a cup of black cofee before the study, but when I came there health wasn’t better. I was tottered and shoke when was going between two studies, laing my works out for review. On that review hadn’t any surprises for me, except of course the one point. On the whole I didn’t expect to deliver my second class work to the fund. I took only one 4 and 5s on other works. Kockel said me that I need more quality drawing because my painting reminds the best times of soviet art. But not the drawing. By the way I’ve been painting hard and really bad since monday. Without any representation about causes I feel that can’t paint the way I do it before. Something had changed. Even if I’ll keep silence about my hodianal state I need to say that working on new staging sitter is very strange. I try to overcome these senses and do it so well as I can. 

I’ve eaten hot supper and some sweets (never do it – sugar is the white death) that’s why I feel better and going to take off canvas. 

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