Everyone wants to walk, rest and forget about study. College hours vain for frolicsome, warm or vulgar chat. Our Kostya is going to join the army. That is a result of stupid new order! Girls inlike Kostya himself vexed about this more. Life is changing in front of our eyes. I would to say about a picture of crying Masha. She said about scare for studing 6 years yet but to become somebody great or undestand that this profession isn’t your. She is fireless to art now. We (me, Masha and Nastya.H) discussed an escape in St.Petersburg without money and connections. Only in that morning I thought about art history faculty like a real option to change my life. I feel that I don’t need to enter to Academy, that it’s not my place and point of view on painting. We all have no idea what to do. 



4 thoughts on “Doubtful”

  1. There must be a reason. You have never felt this way before, haven’t you? And now this sudden impulse…or not sudden and you had a slight shadow of it earlier?
    You know, a little thought has just come to my mind. Maybe you feel unconsciously that something important was left behind, somewhere in the flow of information and emotions. You had caught it and now cannot “take it out”, so your mind and sences tell you to come to history in order to find it one more time.
    In fact, I don’t know your reality, and this is just an idea, that’s all.

    1. The worst or the best thing – I thought about this way before.
      You’re very sharp about causes, but I want to say else that really don’t want to study academic realism, learn muscles again and again, draw since 9 a.m to 5 a.m portraits and study drafts the same time knowing all the foolishness of this hard work in the contemporary art world. Then I’ll graduate with diploma, what doesn’t work anywhere else, but Russia. I precisely know what I want finally, but I too know that no any academy or university in Russia where study to modern creativity and understanding art with philosophic and critical view. They swoon on soviet art as a religion.

      1. Sorry, I never meant to be sharp. Maybe just my regular extremity.
        If you feel so you should do. But that’s not what I ought to say to you. In fact, not to you (to somebody blind), it’s too obvious, something like “follow your heart” and other lifted things. All I have to say in this case – be lucky! (I just remembered these words from the English version of Victor Tsoy’s song “Blood type”)

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