It was day of surprises, turn of events and spirit of new life.
In the morning I was so hurry about decorate a painting work before review as not to put on lenses. In the dress for theatre it’s so cold because of the north wind. I’ve decorated a work so fast that any deal more was absent for me I sat for study. Certainly the context of the room was as usual chatty, silly and not intresting at all. Masha barely moved the brush palette, girls watched on dresses and me studied the words and then sketched. On the review (we’ve known it early)it was so little homeworks that we hadn’t any hope and any straight and any wish for anxiety about this fact.
We’re laughing till were going among works. All the lesson after photos were made, talk was continiued. When I was passing toward the door Britvin entered inside with two works for fund (one is mine and other is Masha’s). I couldn’t believe but that was the true what has happened without any waiting for. Accordingly it arises the question “What can show me my own level of success in deeds?”
Naturally I renewed myself. I smiled and warked truly inspired. But the same time the process of thinking were going inside. Maybe I really wrong seeking other ways for my life and I just try to take a soft option without creation’s pain – pain of uncomprehension. My teacher suggested me redo all my idea in composition and make a picture about an artist and a nude sitter whom have separated with canvas. So fully. Maybe I really haven’t discovered my own idea apprehensible, but it’s not the cause for redoing all only because of Britvin’s opinion. I desided to keep my song.
After painting lesson I’ve left for sketching. Sitting in a soft armchair and thinking about composition I wanted to write about my wishes to show for. Leafing throgh the notebook I’ve found a note what I make the first day in London. I’ve wrotten so beautiful though I didn’t think so. There was some lines with so confident and happy knowlenge how it will be in future indeed. And I’ve wrotten only the true for me. Something most important happens with me and with everybody on our course. We must deside what to do so fast as it’s possible. Somebody cries or grow stupid or feel panic so much as lose working ability somebody like me enjoys the moment allegedly it’s a last moment.
It so windy, cloudy and contrastly on the street.