Exhibition. Evening

Such an extraordinary day. At first I woke up much earlier for get ready to exhibition. It was so sunny and stuffy with this new “summer” weather. I’d done my work soon and was sitting taking photo all works in the college. There’s strange sense when you see a work what you want to buy and exhibit in your own gallery but you can’t, really can’t as you have no power to come idea true. I was awkward as deeply down I felt some kind of conscience’s voice which said me real true about my own works. But outward signs of me were merry and positive. After days inside home and my own world I’d quite forgotten about college moods, about these people and talks. Some kind of shadow side. Time were going on and nothing had changed. We ‘d gone to store for drinks. Sitting with tutor wasn’t the same boring as always, somebody something said and somebody something laughted. We had good time wth her. She so worried about out exhibition and lamented on delay. Frankly it was decklared to start at ten but really was at half to two. So I didn’t want say something like this. Being strained I wasn’t worry just under pressure. Finally I get really bad scores on my works. Even composition what I did with love has no more than 4-. Stupor and closeness had given me and I just listened a final teacher speech trying not to show any sign of my sad. But I had been. And I decided to mend my scores in autumn. Naturally it has a logic issue. You have no passion, have no work – take your bad finish.
At home I just sit and watched old movie. But we planned two meetings the same time and I came to the college then with so fierce and suffer senses arrived to the workshop. Trying to be friendly and keeping talks I made more merry at all. Mary and me left then early and came to the cafe for meeting with girls.
There was such an ease atmosphere where I felt myself like a fish in a water. We were laughing and talking about almost nothing. Then it was photo session on the evening background. Coming with no dress I get a feel of usual day and usual deal. I tried to be happy and it almost was managed by me. We embrased and said pleased words at final.
At home I led on the chair and beared tears form myself.
To addition mum has offended on me about my not wish to work in our shop. I just want to sleep and wake up in new life.


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