So, it’s the last saturday of summer and I may summing up. 

Summer purposes:

Portraits of Nastya, Olya, Sasha. – Only Nastya’s, other girl denialed
More than 20 studies and sketches – yes
Sketches for diploma work – some kind of

Earn n thousands – not so much as I wanted, but I did it and understood that I need to be able to earn with my own profession.

Get read Tale of two cities, Ancient Rome – Only Tale, Ancient Rome I begun to read and then watched BBC films.
Penfriends – yes. some kind of
Get at English – I don’t know, maybe, I feel yes.
Study to wake up at six – NO. I tryed to wake up at six, then six and half, seven and seven with half, but now I’ve given it up.

Study to play tennis and chess – not chess (really why?), but tennis on some beginers level
Ride on bicycle – yes, it was fantastic
Watch film (by list) – yes,
Print photos – yes
Get sold works – no, just one ordered landscape. 
Trip to Kazan – no
Clean up the wardrobe. – yes and not one wardrobe has cleaned up by me.


Inspite of the list I can come to think about my own self-development. I’d got the plain air exhibition like a shout what broken something inside. And I was like a rag with no wishes and passions to life. That had been. Then when I worked and read books, watched pretty films what caressed me and I forgot to say I ate very very much. And of course I quessed that it’s something wrong with me. But I did more and more day by day and cover had began to crack from inner. Every door of changes opens only from inner. There was evenings with sunsets till I went home on foot from tennis. Maybe it was tennis what made me happier and took a notion about life like a game. In fact I was very weak on first two or three lessons but then I became to understand and the first thing I understood is whenever the ball is you can play before the end of end. And the joke of life is the same – we must to continue even when it seems to be the end. The game continues. It doesn’t matter how old I am or how rich or poor, or maybe what growth I have and how much books I’ve already read or studies painted. Its don’t matter. Ok sometimes before you did something with anything good, but it’s zero if you don’t do anything now. We are what we do now.  And maybe my fantasies about my alter-ego has helped me to understand a thing that nothing bothers me to behave myself like I want to do. (Mum’s already twice jeered on me about this). And a conscious dream where it’s so boring till I realized myself there. The same is in life it’s very boring and grey till we would turn on ourselves. I may to add the film “About time” – good illustration on this thought. 583925

And of course creativity. I’ve not felt so much deserve to make long time. I’ve got read a book about it and I presume to not read it anymore, maybe in the same scruple moment. 

This summer inspite of all omissions was the great.


2 thoughts on “Summer.”

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