So it was the first study day and I am able to take some little purposes about relations. Do not waste your own time on this passive not attended about you people. Try to approach to new girl (she restored after two years).
I woke up early – at six, made my pages and run accross morning sunny and little misty streets. Pleasant breakfast and the way to study on the same trolleybus with new music. Of course I went the first and had got ready very fast. Then Kokel came there and smiled about classic situation of painting lessons. Few persons came too and it was arised a situation when everybody waits a person and doesn’t do anything. I couldn’t just sit and talk about nothing with no motion. What a painting lesson!? I cut a paper for draw procedure and we changed Zenya like a sitter. Also I offered to paint second portrait for equal rights for sitters. Untill we desided about a drapery about a pose nobody had any enthusiasm. Maybe without me they would stay sit and wait like somebody descend from heaven and make a wonderful stage. But I hadn’t been despaired I took a remark. It doesn’t matter that I felt lonliness and little sad about them because I have an abiblity to paint a beatiful portrait of girl with polish traits of look. The time of lessons was came very fast and unseen. I waited a tennis. (I had gone with the new tennis bag and almost everybody asked me about it.) But there was the last lesson – composition. It was expected to be a lecture about diploma work. We sitted around him (dimly workshop with grey walls and grey light from outdoors). He started with very very bad point – with restrictions in the amount of a picture. I had not amazed of despondence faces of my classmates what made me smile. In fact he was talking basically about complexity and preferable themes. But nothing was said about happy adventure to the big picture and creativity two words at least. Going away I felt like a stone has hanged inside. Questions of sitters, drawing, workshops, my relations. En route back I couldn’t pace slower and couldn’t listen that rabbish. I was just looking on grey tender sky with little curved clouds. Do not talk with this boy – it had seemed long time he is keen on me.
These taks and passive voice and angry world and grey walls aren’t my life, but I will survive this year with dignity and joyful.