the teacher

I wanna say a lot of things.

Today I woke up offended on myself with late getting up. But it doesn’t my habit to haste in the morning. Yesterday I downoladed some new music what was so placid and graseful when I went to the college. On the morning I once again felt that I do not want to go the college, I have no sensation’s reason. Only a thought make me turned back of college.

And after so sunny divine morning with music and my self-conviction in happiness of having my own books, my own eyes to see sunny pavement and vivid trees. It was better when I came, girls was making the stage, the sitter had came and everything would be OK. But during the process we appreheded our teacher character again. I don’t want to blame him and to be angry with him. But actually I do. He says in a tone of theme “our old times students worked all day long and had so much tasks for execute”. And then condemnation of present days, system, people, teachers, students. Everybodies are fool etc. About painting he said that there no reason to teach persons who are in low level (he meant not ability to study I hope). Listening that tirade I couldn’t paint and everything I was doing wasn’t comprehended. I beheld a man who are hurted by world, doesn’t want to do something himself for improving, who shows off just for throwing dust in the eyes. As a teacher he even doesn’t want to deign for teaching for taking some natural obligations. I can’t respect him. Also I thought that his emerge on the last course is the test how much I has changed, has I really tought lessons of past or not? And when he had did a rude stroke on my canvas I improved it then. He is too brazen. 

I was angry on the break but really tryed to be frindlier. Then music-drawing session with my little dances. It seems to me the worst way of study. I hate it all. There was no any reason to come day by day. No reason. There was no sense.

But I have a few one. And I must keep it inspite of hard it or no.


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