This year, this year. It was slowly, sadly with glimses of light what was so short time long. This year was like a pause between acts. I hope new one will be active (Do I hope? It will be inspite of anything.) Certainly the next year will define a new age of life as I am getting diploma and entering the institute. I don’t know what to say. Mum is vacuuming the flat behind of me. I’m sad a little as no miracle is expected by me to happen this night. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep after dainty supper.
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/violetv94 my tumblr!
It’s so easy to wake up later, make a breakfast you like (toast with an egg and cheese) and feel something light. In my placid area of snow and sun, there is no that stir. When one stream has clogged, another is open. Of course it’s easier to keep track till you’re not in the college among passive people where your mind is distracting so simple.
I ordered the tickets to St.Petersbourg and Moscow. It is the lonely trip. I hope Sasha will meet me in Moscow And Nastya’ll do in St.Pb.
To remember yesterday evening. We should meet in the cafe where the friend of Mary worked. Before the meet I get ready styling hair. I need to say it was probably bad day when I still was like a slack stone without passion but with rage about everything. I cryed on grandma because of her being herself and I crying when I hadn’t achieved good hairstyle. It was hard to drink tea with shuddering fingers and went on trolley-bus to met Lena. On the bus stop I had some time and went to the store. Fanny fanny sellers. When I had gone away and come closer to Lena she was so glad to see me. Her pleasure and uncovered friendliness conquered me. Inside the cafe there wasn’t a lot of us at that moment and we could talk one another.
But people went one by one. I was trying to be fanny while inner wanted to swoon. Certainly my health had failure. And a moment did it for me tense. Money. I have it only for a dish, not for drinks or hookah. I had tasted it and felt nothing especial even with very strong one.
I (to my regret) thought much and watch much. Cause of loud music we couldn’t talk and interact one another, we couldn’t enjoy so gross company. I even couldn’t take girl my little presents. That place only for drinking, smoking and laughing loud. Drink to forget about life, smoke for relax and laugh for fun. No persons or real connections. It doesn’t matter.
I went out with Jane on fresh air. To that moment maybe part of smoke had taken an effect and I talked with her more within that five minutes we were going to the bus stop.
Remained part of evening I didn’t know where to set myself.
Morning is better and merrier. We are going to buy a new year tree and some goods.
I’ve just finished my last full term. Nothing will be the same later.
With all my heavy bags what are able to kill somebody I went to the college. I wanted to style the hair in the morning but had got no result. Place for development.
I can’t say that my statement was good or bad, it was just nasty to haul pictures through the bridge again the same way it was year by year. Certainly I was closed. New sketch was forgotten at home and I couldn’t keep calm knowing it. Even I didn’t try to be happier or merrier. The situation totally vomitted me and everything I did was just turning off any emotion.
The exhibition continiued long time during what we begun to eat and drink and then to give gifts. Girls were reading the book I gave to I. – advaces for men. I get the gift from Mary “Legends of The Celts” – kind of her.
The exhibition had got finish with my “Good” marks and denial of everybodies but F to lead my diploma work. When we bacame more fancy pictures were just packed into bags.
I feel tired.
Tranquill snowy day. I’ve rested the day before and today woke up like a city after the rain – fresh. It was about four hours in the net reading pay books (only fragments) and watching interview with Pozner. Sometimes speeches like he has really glad me as I know that there are somewhere people who talk culturally and thing profoundly. In this kind of day me condescends inspiration and clarity. Allegadly I finally have knowledge of life.
Today in the history study we listened slacky reports and then had the talk about the gift. Our pretty Xenia depouched against our idea for expensive gift for the tutor. She talked such a surprising words what revealed me her pragmatic (with national trait) greedy view on life. Basic notion of “blat”\clout. Finally we had some money for buying Christmas toys. We were glad to ascertain big sales in the shop we went. It was so lucky purchase. In another shop I was so merry and happy that fluently run around a bag I was looking for.
Trolley-bus are still dirty and rude. Only my mind is changing.
It’s unnormal to seat for writing a post and serf the net for four hours.
But I do. This day was the last study one in this year. I went on the second lesson and had intensive work with the portrait. Then on usual lesson with director he told us about war and etc. Interestly that I can’t fully trust his words and persuasions. Presicely I’m not a girl of first classes who just believes phrases like “this is good, but this is not”. Finally we downstaired to take an exam.
Certainly I need to lead my blog at least for defining day by day.
This day was eccentrical with morning visit to a doctor and excited girls’ tales. Last night a lot of people got up with the news and run to ATM to take their money from goverment’s bank. At midnight! They thought that by the morning cards wouldn’t be able to use. At the begin of the day I laughed but watch later it found out hysterical true what shuddered me a little. Instead of plunge into painting and drawing we drunk tea and discussed that. Time was going on but in the workshop it was only sounds jokes and tales. Days of this kind is often shaking one’s mind. In a minute questions of currency have appeared in the first line. And you understand time by time how fragile this world is. Problems are always (I hate them all) and I ask when we would be happy. To wait and hope is the way I tired to use. No, thanks. There’s nothing is able to harm something on the other side of life. Don’t think much about future circumstances and a web of needs, please I ask.
The town is full of New Year Day’s lights. It has already standed year tree with the numbers of shops at the Republic Square.
After worrying night and morning with placid french music as a soothing I was in the workshop under strick Br’s control. All my lighty hopes and skethes dispelled with his cold hard view. I did not feel any support of him (should I?) and doubts appeared like natural consequence. Sometimes that lessons are torture. History was filled with reports and slides. Computer was failing and people were entering with the same excuse. Our female teacher lost temper with threat of disorderly students.
On breaks I rang to the institutes in the others cities and got no answer. Instead of Moscow’s one. Fanny and very pertaining case.
Can you believe but I was wondering on the first floor till it was going the drawing lesson. Why a lot of my good mood dissapears with mondays. When I was painting my pre-picture I wasn’t understanding why I have such a regard to my theme. Something unclearly in the regardness of the teachers to my work (messes!!). Joke is about themes. Mary has the historical russian theme what is understandable, traditional and clear. My theme is modern (social networks) with modern light of gadgets (not sun, not candles or simple lamp). When our teacher came out I breathed with relieve. And with relieve and french music I directed to tennis.
To interfere with views with A and make exersises constantly. In the bus there were a black dog who led on sits and tenderly got caress.
A day of hense and laziness. I hurried up to the college to begin new portrait – WWII veteran. Everybody had painted much but I had only a canvas. Interestly, more I want to buy gifts and plan a trip but not to study. There is something usual, something rutine at that. No magic I mean. Everywhere ladders and dam of mend are. When we were sketching our words were shallowing with clatter of ladder.
And today it was composition exhibition. What did they do the whole two hours if only thing we listened about pictures was so little? Now I again don’t know what to do. Today my achievement is to have done 3d Max project.
It’s just a day of miracles. The first one was at “the rights”. I had got five absences and my general situation was not so clear. But in lesson’s time I’d told three themes and our mildly teacher wrote me Five.
The second and third ones are related with our computer graphic work. It was downloading so slowly that I could get asleep downright in front of the screen. But immediately on another computer it had begun to work faster. And finally a function what didn’t work long time had turned on.
The fifth one is lifting me to the district. In composition lesson I was furiously creativity. To the end Br. said that my picture is about Shakespearean passions but not about levity of people of my age (theme of social networks). Then I turned back and answered that I liked Shakespeare much. And he naturally asked why do I not compose about this. We talked a little about different films based on plays and he went out.
I was merry inspite of exhibition tomorrow. Zenya offered me to go with her on car.