Time by time me and customs meet each other for example the ortodoxic pentecost today. It is so strange for me to see how adult persons cling to illogical things just because of custom. Curtain dishes, curtain deals what were convinient in past but have become rules now. In the cemetery I was standing among my grandmoms, who were reading prayer-books, without any idea what to do. I ain’t religious and they know it. Before this day it had easy mind about it. But in near research I see how louthsome that all. Eating and drinking excessively on open air in the heat of sun and numerosity of people. There are no religious just a custom. My self was out of mood of memories or sadness about dad. It was time to wait till it over and no more.
My meets with real local society happen seldom enough to forget about it. But emotional people of not beautiful imagine of life notices about itself very remarkably. Crying women and running children and sun were everywhere. I told a little with mom on easy themes and watched people around (in snobbish way like I do). That all was felt as not mine. The world of provincial holidays and childish view on religion.
I should survive the heat of summer time in the neglect of my full dislike. Sometimes I will go to colder places in summer or more fresh.