Canvas. Monday of fresh air.

My tennis trainings are good but still fruitless. Now I have not even tired after two hours in game. The weak group changes a balance of power between players. That is why I am seemed as good here, but still bad for the last group. Present players, unfortunately, aren’t so friendly as my last ones, but it doesn’t matter for me.
Cool fresh air in colour of soft pink and dark blue was at streets when I was going home. That time was for little sad. Arriving by bus from the other court I was learning words, reading or listening book, but now it wasn’t time enough for any of that deals. Just songs of “Florence & the machine”‘s new album.

The day itself was productive maybe because of the phrase I wrote in the morning pages “I want to live a gracious life”. And the neurotic conditions are left in yesterday.  Weekends I hadn’t done anything truly fruitful, but walked and looked for a new shorts in shops. Today in fresh air and clear mind something new had been started.  In fact still anxiety had returned in the college. I tried to be working until it had gone away. My friendly talks with girls of the other course affected positively on me. Then after the dinner my course had come and I saw them in the other frame. Where they are sitting are shadows and dark colours. Dark colours of dark mind. Nastya tried to learn me “the reality of life” where every dipoma is bought and students will work out of their speciality. Part of that is true, but not full true. I saw them stooped and told each other “everything is bad”. My reaction was not only the irony and slight jeer but also the notion about our basic divergence. Interesting. Their life is their life but not mine. They walk in small group (I was cheated a little with their confidence but then decided it is rubbish for me) and I mix with the other group. Good changes.

The fact is that I will get entrance examinations in the one institute. But not in the still one (Surikov) – VGIK. Now after tremulous weekend I have understood this is good inspiring idea.

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