Meet and reflections on days

This is the sweet sunny morning I woke up in time and had a run across the streets.
Yesterday I met with Nastya. Time was appointed casually and I had more time than expected. Walking on foot to the place I thought how lifeful I am. I thought than Nastya again meet with me on my spirital rise. But when we came together it appeared to be wrong. I couldn’t be so active speaker as she was and responded her proposals without noticable enthusiasm. Sometimes she is speaking allegadly she is doing it with herself, not with me. Very often we had talks when one of us tells on one theme and then we switch on another without discussion, just storytelling. To the twilight time I woke up and could speak more especially about films. I don’t why but I feel that she sees me as some sociopath who doesn’t need new aguantances with her friends, who can’t live normal life. Maybe I really make such impression about me but it isn’t what I want. And it shouldn’t be desirable by her.
The same thing about my mom. I’ve no idea why does she think of me so narrow. I mean now when we (but only me) decided not to apply to commercial university she presses me to go to work immediately without any notion that I need to make a plan before everything will be rotating. Is it because of my home life? Or is it because I’m not going to search any job but at her office and it means that I am not an independent adult person who can find her own way. I feel I can’t maintain at her view. I would like to say: Oh my God! But hey! I decided to apply myself, I planned, acounted, made list to do, pictures to show, books to read, everyday I did little steps to my dream. And even if I don’t do remarkable hard work, don’t do it along nights it doesn’t mean anything. The mind is really so active in cogitation about strategy and approach to this year. And there is nothing so terrible in work in her typography but she prefers to say “Oh how it is unwelcome to go to work”. It is only her approach, I want to be positive and take the best. Maybe it will be better to have some money. I certainly know how to spend it (does anyone not?).
Also yesterday we met my course mate. She was as usual beautiful, friendly and good smelling. And we came to the time cafe. There was very comfortable atmosphere to spend time with friends or just write in the notebook. Night was bright. Sitting at home I totally forgot how beautiful night lights at town are.


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