About my friendship (as a shit)

This all is like being in greyness. The middle of December in the provincial town without sufficient connections to laugh on jokes and come out with ideas.

I don’t want to say I feel lonely (it’s not true) but I want to say I feel forgotten by exact person I thought as a best friend – N. This crack spoils the picture. I send her a letter as we talked on this in facebook, but neither answer nor her own letter or a stroke of text – nothing. Like only me is interested in this relation. And my not moving on is the plausible pretext to break off ties. The first week after I wrote letter and hadn’t recieved any answer I thought very straight about all of this. But now when I feel bored and tired of the December (common thing) I try to find a warm piece in my heart to heat and can’t. I’m angry with this.

There is the jewish saying: Don’t pour the dirty water until the fresh one hasn’t come. And yes I have not the fresh water, but the dirty one in out of here too.

So, the decision I made was to stay friendly and polite, but away. I must be stronger than now to overcome such silly obstacle as december’s splin and than to get fresh water of my life.

People do us stronger or weaker but we shouldn’t be so dependent of them.

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4 thoughts on “About my friendship (as a shit)”

  1. “…we shouldn’t be so dependent of them”.
    You’re damnly right. Perhaps, it is natural to melt and relax after some time, so we hope that next time it’s gonna be better. But there are always different periods, one cannot stay stable. Isn’t it a way out: to enjoy at the peak (and maybe give some part of your soul to a person?) and to wait (being away, as you said) at the bottom?

    (My theory has a disadvantage, though: how can we relax while waiting for some disconnection).

    1. You know the next time it won’t be better as every negative thing in relationship needs about five positive to get it on previous level.
      And honestly I believe that friendship isn’t something changebale by mood, social, professional, privite and financial condition. Maybe it’s naive to think so but in friendship I wanna be a human being not a social label.
      But now I feel that that social label is important for someone who maybe don’t believe in further development of mine.

      1. It’s about a moment between question “What do you do?” and the next regard.
        I mean not so money (youth plays it’s role) but being in the certain position in real life. When you have something to offer your companion.
        -What do you do?
        -Oh, nothing special
        -Hhmm, yes, I’ve just remembered I have to go.

        -What do you do?
        -I work in the design studio.
        -Oh, really! Do you know N, we worked together on the blah-blah-blah project. Why haven’t we met before?

        But it’s not about real friendship, of course.

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