It found out that my selfportrait made at the third course selected for the Young Artist’s exhibition. Fine. Such moments I usually think about my fruitless life and that I should create more pictures. Such things are sign either of my abilities or not so bad study at the past. Now my fears in front of painting are much bigger that a year before. I sincely perceive that painting is not the business I would like to do day by day. Even now among papers, summaries and textbooks I become upset too fast not by the topics but because of monotony and loneliness. But it doesn’t cancel my love to painting as art. And I still presume to paint just for myself.
The Dostoevsky’s paragraph has read through and my mind is full of ethical phrases. But than more I read than far I’m from the real understanding of his ideas. Being able to speak or write them I’m not in touch with it. Exam does not require it but the fact is the fact.