Reflecting on the process

The midday which I spend at the little room with the laptop.

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Yesterday stressful walk actually affected my energy score. The storyboard which I tryed to draw looks terrible. Where to find the willpower to continue? At the moment I’m not so well motivated as should be. Maybe Moscow stir distracks or the limited privicy with narrow-minded neighbour irritates. I don’t know. This post is reflecting and there is no shame. I have no morning pages now and the result is visible. There is so much to do that I hardly can move. It’s easy to say “narrow it down” but how to choose between writing notes and making sketches, between reading the art history and fiction between communication and selection between observing people and making things done. How to choose? Things here are too slow though they seem fast and bustling. Time is the perceivable substance with it’s frames and speed. I feel physically how it passes. After the dinner the way to study then the way to the hostel during which I call mom and make purchases, after those supper, shower, maybe notes and reading the book. I still have a tricky dillemma weither sketch at the subway, read or listen english. And such question is the relevant for productivity. I must keep my focus on no more than two points, otherwise I will disperse on little things. The two points are the entrance and english. It’s easy. But when I look at the entrance’s to-do list I feel how powerfully it seize the working time. To be enthuasiastic like at the third course I should clean my mind and work up the main ideas. (I ate rise so much times that now the stomach refuse to recognise it as a food) I consider about returning on paper media. I look at the calendar and to-do list so often that sometimes fingers turn on the network apps unwillingly. And you know what happens then. I must plan accurately my next two months and be ready when I come back home. The list should include the practical tasks as well as the reading and the watching list. The last one is a little problem because of the vague data in the internet. How to choose the best of russian film if I watched a bit of them and have a slight idea about the variety of pictures? (I need some real food – it’s dizzy. Put myself together and stand up! Some coffee and take outs will make difference. Go to the cafe for some soup at supper)
This is as cold in the room as the autumn time is. And it’s time to pack things and run away to the subway. I want books, papers and energy.

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