The grey day most of which I feel tired and exhusted. Before the dinner it was a torture to outline ideas for the storyboard. It’s so hard to follow the rules(suggestions) and make creative pictures with expression and fantasy. I found out that my mind is empty about the strange situations at the train station or at the exhibition. And it was so easy to plunge into my fantasies that most of that time I was sitting moveless trying to find the gold in my mind. Only rubbish. My head dizzied and I wanted nothing. Hate such moments but I wrote my thoughts down and got some ideas for overcoming such a BIG BIG problem. I’m looking forward the time at home, it will be full of business and growth. I hope, I know.
Now it’s hard to do many things and there is no desire to describe it. I need more space or just the sign to begin. Or just begin. I have gone to the conclusion that I need to remind myself about all that stuff more frequently because it is so easy to forget and hover above clouds without anything done.
At the painting my head had been still dizzying but I tryed really hard to improve the canvas. Of course, the still life isn’t the product of adequate painter but the training. I still don’t connect with other girls as everytime I feelmyself much older, wiser and proficent than they are. And it’s hard to paint and talk the same time. The teacher asked me again about the education and was satisfied with my work. But I totally dislike his manners and the assertion that there is no artist who draw like twenty years ago. Common, come into the Glazunov’s academy and you’ll see!
I went out without Nastya and spoke with myself until the very subway. Why am I so tired? I need to schedule and sort things out.