Though it can sound silly but I need to quiet myself. The awareness of my inclination to push on myself at the time like this doesn’t help at all. Conversaly, I drink more coffee, rewatch informational video and look out of the window as I’ve frozen. What a typical reaction on little stress. But to be honest it is very natural process of informing. I am on the verge between informed pessimism to pit. The harsh idea to accept is the necessity of superhard work without such momental frustration and pauses for making it all “normal”.
The other point I want to write is the extra need in better community around. The ideas I can hear from the majority are the self-pity and total justification of passivity and irresponsibility at lives. The one of the most popular reasons of not doing things is age. The home situation is so comfortable that sometimes I forget about the responsibility to develop. It is clear that I need a strong rear and confidence in people around me. My network is really weak and must be improved.
It seems that writing hasn’t helped me to relieve. Anyway, show must go on.