That was a strangest birthday I ever had. Since the very morning I was gloomy and reluctant to do anything for birthday party. At the very morning when everyone at the hostel slept I washed the floor and dusted the shelves. Then with a great sense of fear and wkwardness I came the front door neighbours to wash my clothes. It was a second time. My aquantance didn’t get up and I had to agree with another old girl. She switched the machine on without any real desire to help me with such routine problem. But she actually did and I was really graceful for that.
At the shop where I went without make-up and in glasses I was to buy gelatin but in a moment I realised a thing. Mmm – thought I – it’s my birthday and I need to get some treat for guests. There were watermelons and little yellow melons. As it was an oppressive dream I took one watermelon and a bunch of grapes. I returned to the store one more time to get some bananas and pears. The room where girls were sitting was opened as usual and I could easily invite them. The problem of wine was resolved with me and Mary at the local store. We were friendly talking all the time. But even then I really felt how much she take out of the connection. There is always too much of her, too much information about her life and experience, too loud voice which is hard for me to outvoice. This is kind of challenge to be bright beside her. But this is what I wanted – be beside people which are better then me in something.
The rest of the day I was at the grey room with wet clothes hung cross the area. There was no light the whole day and I had to cope with darkness at the bathroom and antechamber. That was terrible but magical the same time: flashlight shared the blue night colour and made black shadows. But the grey sky did its mood.
To five p.m. – time I arrange the celebration I had already cut the fruits and arranged them at the little table, gave away all personal things and read an article at Facebook. That was silly to wait for nobody and I upstaired to Nastya to invite her. When I got down again there was Mary. We unusually opened the bottle with the brush and began to eat fruits and drink wine. Then Vlad came after his trip to the big market. We talked about the stores and the ways – strange odd meet of hardly known people. But the girls came to us and gave me a little gift – box of pastel and a signed postcard with the still life. It went more merry, girls made many jokes and the atmosphere was basically light. I didn’t laugh by all their jokes but the mood was nice. Mary spoke much as usual. I did little remarks. Everyone was remarkably glad by watermelon though Nastya Pasinich browsed too much (as usual). People helped me to clean the table and throw the trash out. To the end we told about poets and literature then about the past exams we all had. Only two of us managed to enter by the first time. Time went on and the smokers gathered to buy some cigarettes. I begun to clean everything properly – washed the sticky table and floor, then my slippers. After the cleaning up Nastya Chekmareva came with a chocolate bar as an excuse for her ignorance. She has no idea about my birthday, she thought I wanted to gather people together and get a good company. We talked some time about teachers – Britvin congutulated me. And she went out. I got a cup of tea, some chocolate and found out myself so inspired and so clear-minded as never before here. I wrote some resolutions to keep up and was generally glad with happened.