7th September

I was drawing at the morning when Mary called with the common question “where are you?”. Of course I was at the hostel in my room, but this answer was odd. It was English first test today (it was going to be tomorrow). I rose up and quickly dressed myself. On the way out I even managed to lecture my neighbour. She’s kind of child twenty-something year old. Her dirty spots at the sink where evidently easy to wach but she whined that it didn’t come off. I felt like an adult person in fromt of the eleven year old silly girl. Just incredible!
At the third floor there was a testing process. I had come thirty minutes before the end. The test was common but with addition of filmmaking professions at the end. Basically people at the room did not have any personal concern to English. The teacher uttered the words with typically great accent. No surprise. I handed the paper and asked for checking up immediately. There were silly mistakes at the beginning and all right questions at the rest. That was a waste of time and no more.
At the fifth floor the crowd of art students waited for a teacher. They had some drawings and paintings unlike me. I looked at them with curousity and nonchalance the same time. There were lots of trash which the college teachers would never accept. Mary had something but nothing extraordinary – it’s so sad. I did photos of the process which I didn’t want to take part. I don’t like the teacher – his taste is vulgar one. He prefers touristical sights with remarkable names not composition.
My clear plan for next three days crashed into immediate offer to go to the exhibition at the evening. Very quick I revised my calendar and decided to make purchases for plein air. I was going to the station with Ann. I did some remark about me bothering people and going with them but she responced with the clever openness which was really worthy for me. She said I often do sarcastic jokes and it’s hard to connect with such kind of person. Farther she added that this behaviour may cover subtlety. And I agreed with her conclusion. Now I sit here and think that moreover I do  such jokes as I don’t feel needed and waited for. We talked about diffucult situations in foreign countries. Ann shown me the road and went out.
I took some cartoon, ban of prime and water-colour paper. I asked myself why I had not done that before and didn’t make studies. For some reason, I presume.
The time alone I spend with music and a pencil. So nice to draw something though I’d prefer to write notes.
I felt I must be a leader at the underground station where students gathered to go to the museum. We found it easily and came in the dark pseudo-gothic building. There is always some embarrasment I feel about my role in this comminity. Am I a leader? If yes, why I didn’t become a senior student? There’s something odd with me. I don’t like to be the second, but I chose to not to be a senior. I want to be a creative center, an enthusiast who love own work and share magic to people. But for some reason I don’t like students of art department.
The exhibition was nice and inspiring for watching the theatre sets or to go there. There was a tiny voice of miracle of movie/theatre inside the frames. I remembered how fascinated I was about Chekhov’s sets and took a book to the theatre. I quoted him almost every day but now I can hardly remember the stories’ plots.
The way back was sad and lonely. I sang something meaningless and rotated ideas about directing again. Gosh!

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5 thoughts on “7th September”

    1. Life is kinda book, you know it) Frankly, I’d be happy to write more fiction like notes, but my mood is to be improved to get done at least scheduled things. Yep, optimistic me.

      1. Why not be optimistic?) I have noticed btw that new tasks take much time at first, but then you just find some time although it seems impossible. Just the matter of time.
        So you’ve got good Internet now, haven’t you?

      2. Interesting, but this morning I understood this. Everything is very simple and enable to utter in a sentence. The diffucilt is the realization of anyone’s vision. I mean to manage time and energy, pay attention to little details as time en route and people you are talking with. I know it’s called essentialism, but it’s really hard to cut the rubbish out and leave the most important and fun things.
        Yes, I’ve got the Internet and more importantly new laptop)

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