The light out of the window has been changing since the very moment I sat in front of the papers. It has transformed from the misty grey silence to the blue poetry of orange fires afar.
Sluggishness of my drawing the plans and furniture was caused by nonstop thinking process inside my head. That was just a continuous stream of thoughts, ideas, questions and images which I tagged by will or not during the last few days.
Firstly, I must reorganize myself and get a sacrifice for bigger purposes. And English is not the sacrifice which is to undertake. I must gather strength and manage to complete meaningful things like mastery and writing. It’s time to know the phrase “work super hard” by practice, not only by the commencement speech of Meril Strip. I need to look at perspective and invest my time and energy into worthy activities. Presently, these are mastery = portfolio, english and writing. The minor thing but important is common education (history, literature, drama, architecture, politics etc).
Secondly, there are many things which I passionately desire to create and provide. But nothing can be done by reflecting and rotating ideas into one closed skull. And this is why I am not going to excuse people for killing my time at the mediocrely taught useless lessons. Simulataniously, I’m not going to conform with everyone I talk with which means that I’m not going to sorry for my disgust to night drinking parties at the stair.
Thirdly, the hobby I need is writing and now I do it more often. Sometimes (yesterday, for example) I have a clear mind full of questions and mental ways for thinking about different things. You know, it’s boring to have a permanent plain vision. Reading books and good written articles helps a lot though I realise it for a few seconds or less. I have a demand to intellectual work which isn’t about orginising the purchases and trips. This is why I’m so thirsty about ‘perspective’ lessons.
But, the most important point is about mindset I have presently. I do really afraid of drowning at the study routine which certainly includes doing pictures just for teachers not for creative development. I should always remind myself about main things and not to allow happenings deprive my life. It is too short to sit quietly while rubbish is going on. I don’t need rubbish I need great.
So, do great!