This is hard and unpleasant to paint at the noisy room with absurd thoughts in the air. Something what makes study so awful. So disgusting. Such moments I feel all idleness of time I kill and see all lost opportunities. The still life which was badly set at the shadow and which my course mates reluctant to modify.
However, I had great yesterday. I did laugh and talk fast with the first year director about the decoration. Still there were senses of hatred in my mind but I could do work in general.
Today I regret that I took the project and will be busy the whole week. Though it can help me to see work by experience and get it all clear.
Moreover, there is election time during which I was out of touch. I am so ignorant in politics and so self-restraint to study it that it’s impossible to lead more than emotional conversation. Where people get time for reading the news? It worries me.
The trial English lesson went good and left the impression of good organised learning. That was exactly what I need – mental work. After you have done something you were eager to do long time everything seems possible. It’s all possible, isn’t it.
Surely I’m not eager to draw the ship, interior cartoons and many furniture details. Though it helps to deviate from self reflection.
Strange time, it’s so hard to force myself to work while all the conditions aren’t good.
P.S. It’s going to be furious time at the festival and study