After yesterday’s late watching the film, I hardly could get up at usual 5 o’clock. So I went out the hostel a bit late but still manageable to come in time. Leaving the building I could see the two girls who usually go such time. Regularly I come to them and begin to chat about nothing and very fast I have to listen silly reflections on evident things. But today the only perspective of listening their rubbish made me control the speed, look carefully and try not to talk to them at all. That became strange as soon as they noticed me. At the last turn I spoke to them about my history purchases but it hadn’t become a conversation.
At the history auditorium it was dark and the students were sitting with their cellphones. I sat to Nastya but quickly went to turn on the light. Then it was possible to say hi to everyone and sit besides one of the cinema studies’ student. During the lecture itself I felt so happy to think and be able to recognise some facts. So the mist of Russian past is slowly disappearing. That was the best lesson of the day and as a result I had a few leaves of notes and ready plan to read up about the topic.
The only reason to sit with sleepy Nastya at the free breakfast time was my reluctance to go directly to the workshop. That was boring as usual. The first lesson of painting is perfect time to work a bit harder than typically, so I do. Everyone was focused on the set and did what had to be done at the normal study. The teacher’s advice and approach couldn’t touch or influence on me. I didn’t want to go out to look at the evident imperfections to the corridor therefore he said literally “Why you are so lazy!”. Common baby, face up someone’s puerility!
After the insipid lunch the painting went worse. In a moment the case became harder and much more tiresome than before. Music helped a little but I still was in a condition of boredom. The last lesson my main entertainment and food for thought was T. Chernigovskya’s lecture. That was a rain for the dried desire of my mind. Another brain stimulation which proof for me again that I NEED to read clever books and connect with clever people this or that way.
The thought she said at the very beginning and which is so similar to my own condition now, was about her profession. She got the place at the university as an English teacher, but after a year of teaching she was terrified by the idea of wasting her life on lecturing the grammar rules and being bored all the time. So she diverted to Cognitive Science. The evident parallel to me standing in front of the canvas in great drabness forced me to think clearly and bigger. I’ve already got a good an idea, but there is still some doubts.
With the lecture I could turn off the world of vulgar straightforward talking and total distraction. I could laugh at her smart jokes and make quick notes by the way. Look up Schrodinger’s cat. There are so many curious things and not answered questions, there is a space for contemplation. And this make me feel better despite the need for progress in the Mastery.