In spite of the fact I overslept my morning history preparation the day went relatively well. And all high spirit was because of the yesterday’s meet with Nastya. We met at the first McD’s in the city. Everything was strange (another town for a meet, me in the other role, her in more adult position) and utterly friendly. We were completely the same. And that was the wonderful issue which relieved so much. I spoke a lot as immediately I could feel as free as never before at Moscow. No secret in my disappointment in profession. She said that I always could reapply to the different major as I’m not as old as it could be. One of her course mate was forty years old.
We talked at the closing ceremony of the theatre design exhibition. There were many young set designers – artists in a word. Strangely, she did not talk to other colleagues and was quiet closed. She said, she’s not outgoing and I said I found out I like to mix with people. But I didn’t and accompanied her as a good friend at the unfamiliar environment. I did say a lot about study, my thoughts and even about some ideas. She got very politely some of my intentions and even supported. I hadn’t to make an impression of an artist – such a relief. It’s allowed to think about profits, structures and meanings, not only about images.
We agreed to meet at the vocation and go to skate at the park, said warm good-bye and thank you. Certainly that short meeting was helpful for both of us. She works too much and go out of the box quiet seldom. I couldn’t walk with her to the station, as underground closes at one a.m. and there wouldn’t be a chance to go to the hostel. So I left her with the curator who helped her to take off her puppets.
Today that was much easier to work with full concentration. I saw perspectives, possibilities and felt the desire to pass the session as good as possible. I am alive, not dead.