Dark blue evening and the cawing crow in a mix of frozen trees. My old deep lazar jumper and taste of cacao. What am I to say? Actually, there is a bunch of things about life and dreams, action and changes.
When you come from the unknown place, from the fabulous fairy tale like a trip all you want is to improve your own life. Make a step closer to the picture of happiness you saw. It’s like some magical smell in the air which you try not to lose but find the source and use for transforming the routine life. So do I when I cannot focus on the study but mentally deconstruct and de-clatter the flat. And there is a decision I couldn’t keep undone. This is why I certainly need to go to Moscow next week and fix everything.
But now I’m regularly relaxed and calmed down – home environment is so immovable. In contrast to this, I realize how hard I must work to approach to the desired result. The only way is to actually do, without excuses or hesitations. Stay strong, optimistic and critical to the results. And more certainly I need support, inner and outer. People who I can look on, speak with and stay on track despite difficulties. There are always ones. No sugar-coated roads with roses and unicorns. Pity, but there are no. So, I should take it and work with it, not avoid, not give up but continue and do what I intend.
Maybe or maybe not, these are Prague environment which relieved my nerves and opened breathing. That was and is a ray of light which made me so curious and alive again. It threw the rubbish away and made it clear – I don’t need that and that. There is no benefit in scrolling Instagram, no more friends, no more understanding in politics. I don’t need to watch a dozen of YouTube video to start doing, start living or even to get at something. This sort of television which gobbled hours and hours of my life at school doesn’t solve any problem but create new one – lack of time and focus. I need my time and my focus to direct it on the majors, not minors.
Sure, I have a quiz of connection with the world. I did like the Czech lifestyle with all its openness to each other and opportunity to mix at pubs. I personally need close friends and private life and some sort of trust. The one clear point is that I need to work on it more intensive than before. Otherwise, you know what happens.