This study week can be called finished, and I’m really happy about this. It was incomparable difficult for me in an emotional way.
Since the roommate appeared on the night of Tuesday I had problems with sleeping and keeping calm. I couldn’t sleep well as far as she was up until five o’clock. At Wednesday I got up at 5.30 as I wanted and she went to bed in five minutes after that. During all the days staying up and talking to people seemed enormously hard almost impossible. The whole being looked unbearable. Talking to people I don’t like, sitting at the lectures while the teacher is remembering conversations with celebrity, hiding my real position about all stuff and restraining myself almost every minute from all wanted. Coffee at McCafe, some new books, new equipment, ticket home and immediate death of the roommate.
But I satisfied myself in a wish. That was a skip of the anatomy lesson and walk at the Chistye prudie, tiramisu at the cafe near HSE and visit to the bookstore. However, in the evening I felt cracked, tired as much physically as emotionally. All I wanted is to go home and do worth things. Shiny chain of the cars was in a hence home while the storm was to begin. I was sitting at the dirty windowsill at the lower floor and crying to the phone. Very pathetic but that was honest. I watched Downton Abbey as a fairy tale before sleep and got a sedative.
The nest day wasn’t happier. Instead of my favorite Art history, we were to attend the conference which basically was boring and meaningless. However, I handed the pictures for the technique mark and made a maquette for the perspective. But that’s all. There still was a tiresome and disgust. Today I went for painting as million times before and thought about all those things around.
Today I went for painting as million times before and thought about all those things around. I don’t know, that’s all became unbearably boring and burdensome. Nastya lost her temper in the morning and we all got she was upset about something. We talked about different things basically empty. There were a usual chaos and humor. I couldn’t share their enthusiasm about Sasha’s birthday but was there. He brought a lot of deserts to celebrate it and girls ordered the pizza. All was fun and friendly but I couldn’t honestly share that emotionally. And I don’t know where the hours went out. Pity.
It’s only a month and a half before the ending.