Today I’ve understood that I finally got sick of this routine shallow life with worries about plastic bags, products, cash and cards, endless questions of the housekeeping. I feel need to eliminate it in my life. I cannot think every time what to cook for dinner or what and where to buy. My Star Wars obsession opened me that almost forgotten the life of thinking. The joy of trying to understand things deeply, get its inner motifs, not just mechanisms to apply. This makes life more profound, more aware. It gives colours.
I couldn’t bare those hours at grandma’s house. To say nothing about talks, I found out that she didn’t really know anything about dinners. I mean, she mixed main dish and a dessert, she put utensils rudely at the centre of the table. She asked me to eat things without any order, without any finishing. And that all is OK for her as far as she is a country child. But I’ve watched so many films with the well-made dinner that I took it for myself. (Yes, I serve ahead and never mix) That’s strange how far from our ancestors we can be.
Both my mom and grandmother talk not well in Russian. I mean that they make curved sentences with many common words instead of descriptive ones. They speak about really simple things, which bore me, greatly. I don’t want to be like they are. I don’t want to have my main focus on routine stuff. But at the same time, I see how little space and triggers are there for intelligent life. The routine tasks are inevitable, I cannot eat only porridge or give up on cleaning up. That’s not an option. I need smartly eliminate it. But how?