This day was quite strange (as all days when I write are). I woke up slowly and being aware of time and place. It was grey and white behind the curtains. Probably it had been snowing all night. Good exercises and the memory of yesterday night’s film made me feel fresh and alive.
As a matter of fact, it was SW I watched. And the funny thing is that I didn’t plan it I just felt terribly sad and lonely. Recently I’ve been using Social Media control app and extension, that allows me to use addictive sites only 30 minutes per day. And as a result, I had and still have a terrible craving for it. But it’s constructed in a way you can’t fix it or change on the same day. So I was locked out of all those stupid videos and articles while the day was grey, studies went slow and unemotional at all (like you expect emotions from studies). The fresh walk made me realise that I need to watch films like I did before. Watch the classic ones from the lists and the premieres. I crave for visiting theatres and having thoughts and emotions there.
At the weekend I had finally finished reading a marvellous book about the script writing by McKee. It spoke out loud both my own ides and his better structured and observant studies. It filled me with the excitement of discovery, a desire to observe and notice. It was like I’m again a girl going crazy by Chekhov’s plays and ready to analyse, imagine and declare it with irrational eager.
One thing he (McKee) wrote was right about the effect films can have on people. The emotions they create leave in the theatre, but the mood can chase us for hours, days, weeks, months, even for years. And it seems right, I don’t feel the emotions I had while reading Harry Potter’s fifth book, but the mood is still there. The same is truthful for TLJ. Thought the climaxes excite and terrify me every time, it’s only the mood, the image, the smell of it that stays with me in time of “real life”. It’s the wide beauty I rose in my mind, but not entirely the product of the filmmakers.
And it seems like a full circle back to love for films and drama I’ve lost. Such inner sense makes me feel almost surreal in normal life. This shuck just cannot be taken seriously.