just monday

This kind of days most of us usually got up and see how terribly boring, dim and hopeless life is. The warm light inside doesn’t compensate the dampness and coldness of the weather.

I didn’t come to the history lesson but slept. My slow and thoughtful morning went to the silent being at the workshop. What it was all about? I tried to understand something in the air. It was so similar to all that evening at the college when I looked out the window and imagined different variations of future. In the room, there still were papers and easels standing in the twilight. What a terrible hush of routine! We’re drawing the torso. My pencils are short as someone doesn’t want to buy new ones. At the other corner of the room, there were Vlad and Masha laughing out loud about something unfamiliar. The calmness spread out to the canteen where we got a situation with the headmaster.

The more we were in the workshop the more it became a farce. It was almost physical hardship just drawing the torso once more in this life. I read news about the attack in SPb, texted Nastya, she answered that all was basically normal. I was amazed by her calm approach allegedly such things are normal and all will be covered up.

The English teacher was really friendly to me and gave me an opportunity to continue my way of studying part-time. She took me a task which I am to do before the next Monday. That was so grateful of her.


Despite foggy weather and dirty transport it is a really good day. I was shaking almost an hour in the bus with the narratation of Bernard Shaw’s play. It’s snowing wet, all things including cellphone were dripping. But at the ortodontist’s there was good not expected news. I really had forgotten that some day my braces had to be removed.  And this day will come soon. Good news! And this is so strange that the whole year I had the ability to come there because of my little summer setback. No more than destiny (in the way I can believe in it).

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However, my attitude to the idea of destiny has changed a lot for last two years. I believed in signs and laws of university which would say me something about future. Now I rather self-believer than the blind fatalist. There is a destiny but our destiny is to take part in our own lives actively. Nobody should excuse yourself with destiny or something else like genes or current social or financial  status. It’s even much better to not to believe in fate at all. It can be but in particular case forgetting about some great power is good for realizing our own power on life. Speak as a couch. Anyway, I think so.