Note on the environment.

While I was cutting the onions I watched an old documentary about Pozner. You know, to discharge my mind. But during that time, the sharp contradiction I faced so often during school and college time met me again. My grandma went to the kitchen too and was washing and moving something in our three square meters, she was talking some rubbish and expecting me to answer something on that.

The image of Pozner’s early life in the upscale environment, educated people around and variety of tasks around made me feel envy again. Surely, my life is another story, but there is something offensive in looking at wealthy life. I won’t the beauty and freedom of such lifestyle but I regret I hadn’t a possibility to be surrounded by the better environment. And surely, there is neither excuse for me nor a reason for sadness. I just see how things are linked to each other. Past and present.



2/10. May holiday at home

That was the second day at hometown and home particularly. I was going to write every day but for the reason of tiresome, I hadn’t done it yesterday. These two days we were shopping across the town, we’d been at all the big trade centers and small old ones. Tonight I got that I could not see shoes anymore. My wishes are very concrete and understandable (which makes it more manageable at Moscow rather than here). I’d better overpay for quality and comfort than waste hours and hours in the temptation to find a needle in a haystack. However, I cannot be angry with mom by her hesitation and endless search.

My visit here emerged some thoughts about the capital town as a beautiful and blossoming place. I totally forgot how terribly boring the life here is, how empty the streets and how colorless are rare people. I have no idea where to go out and where to walk despite all the years here. People move less, are less diverse and calmed down in a bad way. There is poor history around here. I don’t know, it’s felt limited and narrow like shallow water where is nothing more than can be seen.  And it appeared to me not so evident from the Moscow point of view.

I thought I could hear myself better here but it turned out controversy, there is more noise of routine and narrow-mindedness than I presumed.

This day was really nice and I have already wanted to start the working weekdays.
At the morning I woke up very active and run out of the hostel. The town was amazingly calm, no one crossed the road and no one rode at the little nooks. I was running with pleasure even though the dark cloud impended at the sky. Then I have my usual Sunday routine, english exercises.
When me and Mary met she offered to go to drink some tea with hometown sweets. We talked much. Then she led me to the library. I was registered and had to wait for Mary some time. She texted much with some purpose. At the rooms I couldn’t concentrate on books and moved to and fro. At the art department the administrator took me a book on art and led me to the reading room. It was a woody open space with tables and sofas, the winding staircase led to the balcony. People sit all around but the absolute silence were there as an air. I tryed to read the textbook but my focus flight away to my behaviour or the location of Mary. I was under some pressure and wishe to avoid it as fast as I could. After some time I left the book and went out.
We rode to the destination fast enough. That was the office centre with a security and wealthy enviroment. Glassy lifts with patterns, metalic walls, the big central hall with the cafe. At the place people were very friendly and talkish. I resolutely went to the stand and asked my questions. Immediately the representative came and I spoke in my fasty stressful english. She talked very inspiring but the price was still high and I couldn’t feel the greatest pleasure by it. At the other stands I took the information which I had already known and there was no surprise for me. I was a bit tired with that speeches and beautiful pictures. But Mary was pleased by the presentation and some data about abroad english courses. I could understand it but I had already got many things to know that there was work under the shell.


We walked farther and talked, I got a bit fatigued and hardly shared her frank delight about buildings and panoramas. At the cafe we got a good conversation, it’s interesting but I could be honest with her and speak freely.
En route to the bookshop I had the same situation which I had a few days ago. Some not russian women tried to rob me. I felt some touches and turned back to catch the rubber by hand but instead of this she slapped me in the face, cryed something on her language and run away. I was in shock and amazwment how could it happen twice. Mary helped me to come to myself, she was very careful. But I couldn’t throw it away even at the sweetest place of this town – th house of books. We went among shelves and discussed something little. After the book therapy she decided to lead me to the hostel. I could show her the gracious buildings and ambassies.
To sum up, it was the great day and I have wanted to read my book, sleep and at the morning begin the storyboard.

Extremely not usual day.

It started with our trip to eye microsergery hospital. Just we’d come and it became accessibly that it is commercial institution: clear floor, spacious holl and modern doors. But the personal of reception is still as in govement hospital. Till we’d waited our line electricity was failed and rooms became dark. But it wasn’t matter. There was so much people and it’s so automatical process that I felt a little upset and nervious. Nonetheless I met a mother of my classmates accordingly it was little faster for me. Foremost nobody revealed my squint but when it did it turned the same time to better and worse sides. Yes there is no any mistakes except one fact. I’m not operable because of squint is in both eyes and I have stereopsis. Only thing I can is physiotherapy and take night lenses for put a stop declension of sight. And glasses of course. Most people asked me to take it on then I said I don’t do it and they were surprised as a rule. Finally I signed up for lenses selection (so expensive!) and we came to trade center.

Mum with me have invited for a wedding of my old cousin who find her US boy. Accordingly we had a problem with dresses. We haven’t ones. In one farther shop we’ve both found the dresses what suits us. I was really glad and calm when we were eating in Mac’s (not usual for us). 

I came to college as I came to other world and haven’t any mood for work. I didn’t think to come today at all. Teacher placed a sitter for new work – so grey and boring. Allegedly a sitter is an artist with pallete sit by easer. He said he has creative crisis himself. In addition to this there was any normal place for work and I was forced to take a podium. 

After lessons what happens too fast only Nastya and me had stayed for evening drawing. After some sketches during we were discussing and laughing many other things we desided to come to eat an ice-cream. All the time we draw “I want to walk” sounded from us. And we talked about Europe’s trips of our classmates about summer rest and other nice thing after what we smiled and laughed. And didn’t forget to ate ice-cream on the cold wind. It was nice, merry unusual evening. Thank you.